Red vs blue vs EVA
by Spartan036
Summary: Follow the adventures of both red and blue team as they experience that will impact their world. It used to be red vs blue now its red and blue vs WILLE.
1. Blood gulch

Today is a moderately warm day in blood gulch, well always a moderately warm day because somehow the temperature doesn't change at all in here though in fact, everything is somehow the same thing it is. In the boxed canyon is two bases, the left has a blue flag and the right has a red one. Its quite obvious there's a civil war going on but for some reason there is no fighting, because my friend, this isn't just a boxed canyon in the middle of nowhere. On top of the nearby nook is a man wearing a classic ODST helmet and a girl wearing an EOD helmet, both of them are blue. In the man's scope is two figures talking.

"Hey." The maroon one said to the orange teammate.

"Yeah?" The orange soldier asks.

"You ever wonder why were here?" Of course this was always the question, especially for private Dick Simmons and his companion, private Dexter Griff. Interaction keeps you sane in this place otherwise you would end up as a flag worshiping zealot.

"I wonder myself too, like, why are we here? Is it because of God or something? I just don't know man..." Griff replied to him as Simmons raises his eyebrow underneath his helmet.

"What?" Simmons said with confusion.

"I mean to say why are we here in this boxed canyon in the middle of nowhere! Should we be out there fighting aliens and shit?" He explained to his teammate.

"Ohh, I know its bullshit. I mean, their there fighting the good fight while we are standing here protecting the flag from the blues! How did this war start anyway?" Griff sighs.

"And what was all that stuff about God and all?" Simmons asks.

"Never mind..." Griff grimaces.

"...Wanna talk about it?" Simmons replied.

"For the last time, no!" He shouted. In the distance is ODST blue team member, behind him is the girl leaning on the rock wall as they look at the two bicker and bitch at each other. The armored soldier takes off his helmet to reveal to be Shinji Ikari but not the one you know.

"Uh, why take off you helmet?" The girl asks.

"My air conditioner is broke and its fucking hot." Shinji replied.

"Well good luck getting your head blown off-oh shit my air conditioner is broke too..." She sighs and removes her helmet, Asuka Langley Shikinami is many things and a freelancer is one of them though...not the kind you would think of.

"Now you know how it feels." Shinji chuckled.

"Oh shut up..." Asuka growled as they continue to look at the red team.

"So what are they doing?" She asks as Shinji turns to her.

"What?" He asks.

"I said what are they doing, now?" Asuka repeated as Shinji sighs and lowers the sniper rifle. They've been on this sniping spot for 30 hours and her little freelancer brother has lost contact with them because of low connection in the caves, though they can see him.

"Man, I'm so sick of answering that question!" Shinji groaned.

"Hey, you have a fucking rifle and I can't see shit! because I'm not going to sit up here and rub my vagina in front of you for moral boost." Asuka countered as Shinji puts away the sniper rifle.

"Okay, look, they're just standing there and talking, okay? That's all their doing, that's all they've been doing for the last 30 hours, stand there and talk! That's what they were doing last week, that's they've been doing when you were asking me 5 minute ago so 5 minute from now when you ask me what are they doing, my answers gonna be there still just talking and there still just standing there!" Shinji yelled though Griff and Simmons don't here him, Asuka falls silent as it appears that he hurt her feelings.

"Hey, Asuka?" He calls as the freelancer turns to him.

"Yeah?"

"Wanna go shout some insults at red team via coms?" Shinji grins which Asuka does the same also. They rise up from their cover.

"Hey reds, you suck!" She insulted as they are caught by surprise. Grif fires his assault rifle at them but misses causing the pair to laugh at his futile attempt to kill them.

"Ha, look at him trying to shoot at us! Hey dipshit, you don't use an assault rifle to shoot at long range! That doesn't do any shit to us!" Shinji laughed.

"How about you go get a sniper rifle!" Asuka continued. The reds get back into the base as the two continue to laugh at them.

"So what are they doing now?" He asks the freelancer.

"Wait, I got this!" Asuka makes a shotgun cocking sound with her battle rifle and changes her voice to sound Southern.

"Men, it has come to my attention that the blues have an advantage on all of us! And it is distance, we should give them flag!" She laughed as she made an impersonation of Sarge. Shinji laughs in response at her joke.

"I got this one too!" He adjusts his voice.

"Don't worry everyone! Private Kaworu will save the day, no matter how tight the situation is, I always find my man!" The two blue team members break into laughter. It is then the red come back...with a warthog. The two are frozen in fear.

"Okay...that might do something to us." Shinji whimpered alongside Asuka. In this type of situation, you would ask that why don't they run away? Because Asuka always cracks under pressure when faced with unexpected results alongside her younger freelancer brother, Taisuke. On the ground is the red team, for Sarge, everyday is a good day when a blue dies. Unless its Grif, it will be the greatest moment in red team history. Grif aims the machine gun at the two...but nothing comes out of it.

"What the fuck?" Grif hits it to make it work again but still nothing.

"Private Grif, not shootin at the enemy will label you as a traitor!" Sarge blared.

"Theres something wrong with the gun, I think it's jammed!" Grif replied. Meanwhile on the top, Asuka and Shinji are still standing in fear.

"Hey, aren't you a badass freelancer?" Shinji asks.

"Yeah I am but I always crack under pressure in front of unexpected situations..." Asuka replied.

"What are they doing now?" The blue team member asks.

"I think they're trying to mess with our heads...let's get back to blue base." Asuka replied to him. On the ground while hiding in a cave is two blue soldiers, the first is Taisuke Langely Shikinami who is the younger brother of Asuka and is a freelancer like her. He is wearing prefect armor with soldier chest and ODST shoulder plates. There is another soldier who is wearing an air assault armor with hazop chest plate and venerator shoulder plate. She is Mari Makinami. The two are wielding sniper rifles and DMR's.

"Uh, should we save them?" Mari asks the freelancer.

"They have a warthog and we have sniper rifles...I am very very overwhelmed..." Taisuke shuddered as he shares the same factor from his sister. Meanwhile with the red team, Grif is hitting the gun but nothing happens. Too bad Lopez isn't here because the freelancers reduced him into a head in a fit of panic.

"Wait, we could get Kaworu!" Simmons added.

"Why him!? He's like Donut!" Grif replied as the lightish-red soldier wasn't even good at all though he is a good tosser...of grenades. It is soon the two blue team members run out of the caves and firing their DMR's.

"Yeah, suck it reds!" Mari yelled while firing her weapon with Taisuke taking cover from behind a rock. The reds get out of the warthog and take cover behind it.

"Sir, if we don't repair the gun soon. I'm afraid the blues will overwhelm us, especially with the freelancers!" Simmons panicked as Sarge sighed.

"Your not going to call him, are you?" Grif asks.

"Private Kaworu, repair the gun!" Sarge ordered as the pink soldier appears.

"Hey, who was interrupting my beauty sleep-woah!" He ducks at the shot from the two blue team members then crouches to avoid fire and groups with his teammates.

"What is it sir?" Kaworu asks.

"I need you to repair the gun!" Sarge ordered as the albino nods to him.

"Don't worry Sarge, no matter how tight the situation is, private Nagisa always finds his man!" Kaworu gets up on the gun as they are shot up by a hail of bullets by the blues.

"Uh sir...there's gum in the safety lock." The red team member said.

"How in the hell did gum get on there?!" Sarge blared at him as Grif whistled with Simmons turning towards him.

"What? I couldn't stick it anywhere!" Grif replied to him.

"So you stuck it in the safety lock!?" Simmons yelled. The blue team members fallback to their base as the two freelancers cover them and fire their weapons at the red team. Yep, a typical day at blood gulch.


	2. Crash

Asuka and Shinji huff in exhaustion after a another botched attempt to steal the red team flag. She stops and notices that Taisuke and Mari are missing now much to her surprise as her armor fades back to its typical color which is olive mixed with red

"Oh crap my brother is gone!" Asuka panicked as the freelancer loads her guns to save her little brother. Meanwhile in the offensive, Mari and Taisuke shoot their guns at red team while spouting out insults that are enough to make a nun faint or earn you a thousand soaps to the mouth.

"Cover me!" Taisuke ordered as he vaults over the rock with his SMG's ready for draw, he sprints while firing them right before getting on the warthog while still firing at them. The red team responds by shooting back at him wildly which he dodges right before running towards them and does a front roll to avoid more fire. He crouches with his dual magnums at the ready as Grif fires his battle rifle, Taisuke or you might know him as agent Montana was known to use dual weapons for everything and favors semi-auto or burst fire weapons over everything. Taisuke responds by punching Grif in the crotch and slide kicking Sarge and finally kicking Simmons in the head.

"The blues got a new member!?" Grif cried only for Taisuke to shed his colors from blue to olive mixed with brown.

"Nope, agent Montana at your service." Taisuke greeted as Kaworu runs away from him. It was then Lopez fired a rocket launcher at the Taisuke only for the freelancer to roll away from the round which blows up in impact. The freelancer shoots the Spanish-speaking robot which knocks him down to the ground. Sarge gets and attempts to hit Taisuke with his shotgun but he turns and grabs it right before kicking him away. Taisuke aims the shotgun at the team.

"Taisuke!" Asuka cried as he sighs and throws it away.

"Next time assholes!" He yelled right before running towards his sister with Shinji, Tucker and Mari firing their weapons at red team to provide cover fire for them. After minutes of running from the red team, they finally make it to blue base with an angry Church in front of them.

"Not my fault, Tucker did it." Taisuke blamed him.

"Hey, your the one who failed to bring in the flag! You two are suppose to be freelancers for Gods sake!" Church complained.

"Well I'm sorry. My brother and I don't work well when things turn unexpected!" Asuka replied.

"Why do I feel like this is an excuse for you three to stay here?" Mari sighed as she walked away to mess with some equipment.

"Church! Church!" Two voices called as he groaned in irritation and turns around to see a girl wearing a security helmet, shoulder pads and EVA chest plates, next to her is Michael .

"Yes Rei and Caboose?" He sighed knowing they did something stupid.

"Yeah...we tried to make a third friend by using the parts of some of your old body and now..." Fire appears from the base right before Rei can finish her sentence.

"Not my fault, Tucker did it!" Caboose said as the blue team panics. Shinji runs towards the blaze but its too strong to get the fire extinguisher.

"Ah hell! I can't get the fire extinguisher!" Shinji yelled knowing there base will be on fire soon alongside the flag. Asuka looks at Taisuke who nods in response and he activates his sonic enhancement. He walks up to the fire and realizes something...

"Wait, I can't touch fire." Taisuke realized.

"Well I don't want my magazines to burn!" Tucker yelled as Taisuke pokes the base wall. The sonic enhancement enables the user's touch to be pretty much the equivalent to a punch mixed with a gravity hammer and is capable of generating winds or tornados, there's a slight possibility if known how to be used right, it might give the user super jump. The fires are blown away by the shock-wave.

"Phew..." Church sighed. It was then something began to mess with there radar and coms of both teams and they scream in irritation as there visors flicker.

"Oh my God, it sounds like a moose giving birth to an inbred baby sasquatch!" Shinji yelled knowing something is happening as his visors shut down causing him to throw his helmet on the ground alongside the rest of blue team except Rei and Caboose.

"This is the best song ever!" Caboose praised the transmission alongside Rei.

"I know right!"

The base's lights begin to flicker on and off as the sky turns red as if its the end of the world. Meanwhile in the red base, red team is panicking without there helmets.

"Repent! The end is here! Give up your evil ways!" Kaworu screamed alongside Donut, light appear from the sky with both teams standing in pure terror besides the two idiots. Shinji hears something from his helmet that's on the ground. He picks it up to hear a faint murmur as he cleans off the grass.

"I'm coming, Ayanami..." The voice said as it was awfully similar to Shinji. The sky turns back to its normal state with Sarge sighing in disappointment.

"And for a second there, I thought God joined the red team to replace Grif..." Simmons heads back to the base as something didn't feel right, its as if something is entering there world. The red team heads back to base as Simmons looks at the sky for a second then heads back. On the blue team, pretty much everything got set on fire by the failed invention of creating a third friend for Rei and Caboose.

"Hey my magazines are okay!" Tucker joyed as Shinji was relieved that his father's helmet is okay and still intact, the helmet belonged to Gendo Ikari aka agent Massachusetts. The helmet is a scout helmet that is black with a white stripe on it. Asuka on the other has all her stuff unscathed alongside Taisuke's.

"Well that's a relief..." She sighed. Meanwhile in red base, Simmons has came up with a possible theory regarding todays anomaly and got the approval of Sarge.

"Hello fellow team members." He greeted.

"Get to the point." Girf sighed.

"Regarding todays anomaly, it has come to my attention that today is the theorized Lutece effect. The Lutece effect is-"

"Thank you for your observation Simmons." Sarge thanked as he wants this to end.

"I'm saying, something is entering our world." He concluded.

"Wait, what do you mean something? Like an alien attack?" Grif asked.

"No, I'm saying something is entering our reality." Simmons replied.

"Another reality!? Men, I saw this coming..." Sarge said as the red team members raise there eyebrows underneath there helmet.

"You knew that something is entering our reality?"

"Yes! The evil counterparts of us except blue and now they have established contact with the blues of our world and now they plan to invade us with there highly advanced army!" Sarge roared.

"Okay, this is starting to sound like that justice league movie..." Grif sighed.

"Which one? Infinite crises or we're trying to keep up with the avengers?" Kaworu asked.

"Forget about that! Men...activate protocol ultra violet!" Sarge goes over to the garage as the rest of red team follow him. In front of them is the body of Lopez who looks less scratched up and more cleaner.

"Wow, you made another useless robot..." Grif sarcastically commented while feigning praise.

"Men, our army." The sergeant activates a padlock nearby which opens a hidden basement of red team, beneath them is an army of Lopez's. Meanwhile in blue base, Asuka and Shinji fire there battle rifles at a few cones while Taisuke messing around with Tucker. It was then the sky turned red again.

"Oh shit, not again!" Something crashes into the middle part of the canyon as both teams took cover. Asuka rises out of the back of Sheila while Shinji is aiming his gun.

"What the hell was that!?" Shinji panicked.

"So...who's going there? Cause definitely I'm not." Church said while Tucker nods.

"Seriously dude!? Why does it always have to be Asuka, Mari, Taisuke and I!?" Shinji yelled at them as the two sighed.

"Fine, we're going." The blue team head towards the wreckage which is an entry plug of something or an escape pod, doesn't seem to be UNSC issued at all. As they walk towards the crash site, it becomes apparent the plug doesn't seem to be in there origin at all. Little do they know, the red team intercepted it first but there just standing there deciding who should poke it.

"Definitely not me." Girf said.

"Sarge?" Simmons picked.

"Uh, I don't want to get radiation off that..."

"Radiation? We're wearing armor!" Grif yelled as he couldn't believe this bullshit.

"Pick me sir! I'm good at poking large things!" Donut suggested.

"Me too, I can rub the radiation off of it with my smooth hands!" Kaworu added as the red team looks at each other.

"Under one condition, Grif joins in." Sarge agreed with Grif shocked.

"But why me!?"

"To make sure you get infected by a possible disease so Simmons can weaponize it from your body and use it against the blues as a biological weapon!" Sarge explained.

"And how is Simmons going to get from my body!?" Little do they know, someone inside here's it. Inside is a boy in a black and green tight suit in fetal position, he ignores the voices outside of the entry plug as he is covered in guilt because of his sins. Blue team on the other side is thinking of how to open it.

"Church." Asuka suggested.

"Why me!?" He asked.

"Because of your robot body, I'm quite sure you can't feel anything." She replied knowing that Church is a ghost.

"Oh yeah..." Church walks up the entry plug as he spots an opening hatch, he touches it as it gives off a burning smoke. The blue team leader pulls it off but struggles so Rei and Caboose help, the hatch is finally opened with Rei gasping.

"Shinji has a brother!" She observed as she spots a person who looks similar to Shinji but in fetal position. Asuka gets inside while armed with a battle rifle to see what's going on. The freelancer gently shakes the boy but he doesn't respond at all.

"You know this is how horror movies begin..." Shinji sighed at the thought that the boy who looks like him will turn around with a scary face and kill Asuka.

"Uh kid..." Asuka gently lifts up the boy to reveal his face...another Shinji.

"What the hell!?" The blue team gasps while looking back at there Shinji. Asuka tries to snap her fingers in front of him but to no avail.

"I got a better idea." Taisuke suggested and pulls out a soda. He shakes it and opens the lid only for the soda to splatter over the look-alike but like last time, he's unresponsive.

"Looks like he's been through a lot, lets take him to blue base." Church suggested.


	3. PSA

Red vs blue presents: Hostage situation.

Cut to the wunder with RVB Asuka and Shinji.

RVB Asuka: Hi, I'm Asuka Langley Shikinami from the fanifc known as red vs blue vs EVA.

RVB Shinji: And I'm Shinji from the same show.

RVB Asuka: Now today, we're here to discuss a rather grim topic.

RVB Shinji: Please don't take that as a hint for another counterpart fic. "Attempts to wink only for me, Spartan036 to glare at him for trying to leak it out"

RVB Asuka: What to do in a hostage situation.

RVB Shinji: Because its not that simple.

Step 1: procrastinate. 

RVB Asuka: Being a hostage is not only scary but very boring so try to entertain yourself.

RVB Shinji: Like this for example.

*Cuts to Carolina holding RVB Rei hostage.*

RVB Rei: I am very bored so I'm going to do what a bored does! Roll around! *Rolls around like a dog while her hands are tied.*

Carolina: Hey stop that!

Step 2: Talk with the hostage taker.

RVB Asuka: If your experiencing Stockholm syndrome, please try to bond with your captor or abuser, maybe you can get to his or her mind and free yourself.

RVB Shinji: Or be submissive if your a masochist. Here's another footage.

*Cuts back to Taisuke talking to Carolina who is holding him hostage alongside RVB Rei*

Taisuke: I mean, your a kind person so you don't have to do this. Carolina, we fought together so you have to understand.

Carolina: No, there's no second chances for me...

Taisuke: Well I believe there is. Look how far you've gotten.

Carolina: ...Your right, I am better than this.

Rebuild Misato: She's dropping her gun!

Carolina heads out of the base.

Carolina: I surrender-"gets shot in the head by a sniper"

Taisuke: Sucker.

Step 3: Sing. 

RVB Asuka: The power of music compels all, so maybe you should sing to the captor to move his or hers hearts and heal there hurts.

RVB Shinji: Or sing badly to make them kill themselves.

*Cuts to footage as Taisuke is strumming a guitar in front of Carolina.*

Taisuke: Please don't kill us, please~ If you don't we'll help you out~

Carolina: What the hell...?

York and South pull out guitars too.

Carolina: Not you guys, seriously!?

Taisuke and RVB Rei: But if you let us live, we can shoot the soldiers~ We'll use our weapons to help humanity so don't kill us alllll~

Sarge looks at Tucker and they join in.

Taisuke, RVB Rei, Sarge, and Tucker: Please don't kill us please~ We don't wanna die and if you do not kill us~ We'll make you lots of pieeeeee~

Carolina: "Grunts in irritation" That's it! Just release them!

Step 4: After being taken hostage, thank your rescuer. 

RVB Asuka: Please don't forget to thank your rescuer for the hard work and effort he or she put to save you.

*Cuts Washington*

Washington is busy observing the arrested Caroline only for Caboose and RVB Rei to rise from behind him.

Caboose and RVB Rei: "Whispers" Thank yooooooooouuuuuuuu...

Washington: Please get the hell away from me before I shoot you.

RVB Asuka: Now that you have learned how to deal with a hostage situation, you will use these tactics to make it out alive!

RVB Shinji: Or make it out in a body bag but at least you got out!


End file.
